Hard Place

I found myself facing the question again this morning during worship. Is it time to stop? Can I just leave this area alone and go on with God? I know I will fall again and again in time to come so why am I using it as an excuse not to move on? How bout the loneliness issue? Guess this is where faith is supposed to come in right? Doing the right thing in the midst of unanswered questions. I thought I could just move on with God and leave this area alone. At the end of it all, then I'll get my chance to settle scores with God. I thought I could just be faithful till the end and then the fault will lie with God. But all these are not strong enough reasons to hold me through turbulent times. Actually, does God even need to answer to me? Do I even need a reason to obey seeing that He is God? Again, I need more than these to keep me strong in the midst of so much confusion. Think the reason I'll ever repent is that I am just too tired to fight. Presently, I really am living from day to day. The only thing that brings me that little excitement has to do with my rebellion. Think I need help......