Enough Said

Ip Man 2

I was reminded of my philosophy after I finished the movie on Thursday evening. I usually try not to get my expectations too high for any movie so that should it turn out bad, I would not be too disappointed. I think I let it slip for this one. After all, most were implying  that it beat Iron man 2 hands down and since I enjoyed Iron Man 2, this should be at least a little better. Right? Wrong! Turned out I enjoyed Iron Man 2 more than Ip Man 2.

Maybe I really am weird or something. Don't get me wrong. It was not lousy. You can tell a lot of effort were put into the production. Maybe its the predictability of the movie that caused the downfall of the movie for me. After all, you know Ip Man cannot die, if not there will not be the movie anymore, not to mention Bruce Lee. The fighting scenes were okay. Some were quite comical unintentionally I believe. To be fair, the fighting scenes with Sammo Hong and Donnie Yen were decent. Other than that, there was not much kick to the fighting.

Okay, I suppose I should just keep to my philosophy for the rest of the movies and I suppose I'll probably enjoy them more......

I'm Back

From Langkawi that is. Must say that it was a decent trip. Should have stayed there longer. Will post up photos real soon......

Uncle

I never liked to be addressed as 'uncle'. Makes me sound really old. Soon, I'll be the uncle of the sixth kid. My goodness! Just the thought makes me feel old. ;( It makes it worse when my sis' kids greet me cos I am the 舅舅 (old old in mandarin). Even at work, I would make my little patients call me 'gor gor' instead of uncle. Then I would point to my colleague who is like a few years younger and tell them to greet 'auntie'.

Melancholy

I always knew I was somewhat a melancholic of sorts but I never really looked into the details of it till lately. My boss was talking about the four personality types and he mentioned that I was a melancholic, which I already knew. One thing he mentioned that I did not think about was that melancholics were idealistic. That set me thinking. I went back and started looking up at the characteristics of melancholics. Then I realised that one of them was perfectionism. That made me ponder more into the details of my life.

Whenever I attend my vocal class, I often hear a lot of compliments and praises in regards to my voice and singing. But somehow, I never liked my voice nor my singing for that matter. So, I usually doubt my coach's praises thinking that she's just being kind and nice since I am her student. I questioned her a couple of times but she still insists that I do sound good. After looking in depth into this, I realised that it could really just be me and my idealistic view of things that caused me to think I am just not good enough. Same for other stuff as well. I really do not dare to step out to do a lot of stuff unless I am really confident I am REALLY ready to which of course never happens. So I guess from now on I need to really view things realistically and practically as well......

Church Moving

Just found out yesterday that we are moving church, this time to chinatown, w.e.f June. Kind of sudden I must say. It's like I have just settled into this Toa Payoh premise and we are to move again. Hmmm, gotta travel longer this time round. Then there'll be an extra English service due to space constraints. Wonder how the worship team will manage. Anyway, will take things as they come. Too much stuff on my mind now. Actually, there's only one thing on my mind now but it's taking the space of everything else. Sigh......

Trying To Stay Awake......

我願意

This is one of the songs which has been timeless for me. Right from the time I first heard it till now I still am in love with it as well as the lyrics. Dedicated to you J......

Things we do when we get bored

Jerome, why?

It's strange. Though I am disappointed with God, I know that deep down inside He's the only One I can turn to now......

Disappointments With God

My steps back were especially slow as I headed back from CGH just now. My friend's dad passed away just ten minutes before I reached the hospital. In the afternoon, I received a sms from my friend saying that his dad just had the respirator removed and his condition had stabilized. That came as a relief. Then later in the day, I received another sms. Apparently, the doctor had said that he would not last past tomorrow. I knew I had to go down. When I arrived, I heard my friend's mum wailing away. I thought she was just upset about the verdict given by the doctor till a friend told me he had just 'left' ten minutes ago. My heart broke.

Just hearing her grieving over her husband was enough to break my heart. I went over and looked at the corpse. At first I was okay. Maybe I was half expecting it. Then I sat outside trying to digest what had transpired while they were removing all the tubings from the body. My friend's mum was siting nearby being comforted by her relatives. Then she started singing the song 'Rejoice in the Lord always'. I cried when I heard her sing it. Such strength in the midst of such a crisis. I sat there not knowing what to do next. We prayed. We believed. All that we could do, we did.

Then pastor's wife came. There was one last moment to see the body. They decided to go in to pray for a resurrection. So a couple of them went in while the rest of us stayed outside to intercede. For a long while, there was no activity. So we continued to pray. Then finally, we were all given the chance to take a final look at the body. By that time, I was quite disappointed. Our only hope seemed dashed. I went in and took a final look and left.

On the way back I started to think about the whole incident. I realised that my whole set of beliefs had just crumbled. All that I had believed had just been dashed. Never had I seen such unity in prayer for one single person. Never had I seen such fervency as well. We really were expecting a miracle to happen. What happened in the afternoon was a miracle in the making. Nevertheless, I was disappointed. It really made me wonder if the word failed to manifest in this situation, what makes it a sure thing for other events? I really felt disappointed as well as cheated.

C, if you had a part to play in leaving us, you have been an irresponsible father. Because of this, your son has to take on the responsibility of the man of the house at such a tender age. If you had no part to play in this then you have an irresponsible Father. Seriously, I do not know. I have put my faith out for this. Even though he is dead, I know God can still resurrect the dead. But when do I stop using my faith? When he has been cremated? Even that, I know God can form the body back from ashes. With each new hope, I have felt more disappointment after. How much more can I take? C, given a choice I would trade places with you willingly. You are needed here on Earth way more than I am. Your family needs you badly.

From this incident, I have come to a conclusion on certain things. None of them are good. My sis would always tell me not to make decisions from emotions. So I'll wait a couple of days. Anyway, having downed some vodka sure ain't helping in my decision making. We'll see.......

Repentance

Yesterday's messgae was another one that spoke to me. I know I should awake from my stupor but I really find it hard to. The message was abut the 'Judgement Seat Of Christ'. That will be the event where God gives out rewards to His people for what they have done on Earth.

Thinking back, for the past two years or so, I have not been serving God as actively as I should have. Worse part is that I know the reason why and I still can't get over that hurdle in my life. There's confusion in my life now. Do I continue serving God despite that hurdle? Do I continue to serve knowing my heart is not right before God? The thing is I can't find anything better to do anyway.

Think I am coming to break point soon. I have been going around totally split up inside. I came to realise that there is nothing worse when a person's inside is not congruent with his outside. That is complete misery. I need to realign all my priorities. In fact I need to revemp my whole life. He is coming soon. God I need wisdom. I need strength. I need help......

Iron Man 2

This is probably the first time I have ever caught a movie twice while it is still screening in the cinemas. Well, not that it was so superb a show but because I promised a colleague to watch it with her. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the movie more the second time than the first. I guess it could be that I understood more of it than the first time round.

I heard from a fair number of people that they felt the movie was disappointing. Though I could not say that it was a wow movie, I felt that it was somewhat underrated. The effects were good. The humor was good. Of course, how could we forget Scarlett Johansson as well as Gwyneth Paltrow? There were certain parts that could have been elaborated on more and the fighting scenes could have been lengthened as well. But overall, I felt the show was pretty okay. I guess for any movie, expectations is the key......

Philosophy I DO NOT Like To Hear

With philosophy like this, it's no wonder the author remains unknown......

Fond Memories

Found this photo when I was trying to clear my room just now......

You Taught Me To Try New Things In Life, But You Were Not There To Do It With Me......

Yoga Cat

Thoughts, Thoughts And more Thoughts

Just returned from the hospital. Visited a good friend's dad who is in icu now from a suspected heart attack. Lots of thoughts in my mind now. It started last night when I received a sms from my bro saying that my friend's dad was in hospitalised and told me to check on him. I did and found out that his dad had fainted and the doctor suspected a heart attack and that he was in icu. I told him to keep me updated.

Today I received another sms saying that his dad was 'brain dead' and they were hoping he'll awake in the next 24 hours. After realising how serious the matter was, I made plans to go down to see his dad. Actually, I was quite disturbed by the news. I had another friend who lost his dad recently but his dad went in and out of hospital a number of times prior and I supposed that gave him some mental preparation so to say. But this one came so suddenly I was really concerned for my friend. Not to mention that he is still quite young.

So I went with a really heavy heart. I really felt my going was redundant since there was not much I could do or say. When I reached, there were quite a number already there. Apparently my senior pastor had already came and left cos there was another church member who suffered a stroke today. OMG! I sat there just waiting for a chance to see his dad. We prayed for his dad. As I stood there looking at his dad lying there and hooked up to all the life support equipment, the scene of my mum lying on the bed with all the same equipment flashed in my mind. For most of you who have not read my previous yahoo blog I wrote before about my mum who once suffered a bad episode of asthma and was warded into icu as well. But God graciously preserved her and she got well finally.

It's been a long while since I prayed like this and in this kind of environment. My friend's dad was the only one apparently who had that many visitors (mainly church friends). According to my friend, the nurses gave up on them cos there were just so many of them though only 2 were allowed at a time. The waiting area was practically filled with our own people. At one time, I think there were like easily 20 of us there in and outside the icu room. I was touched by this. We really are a family and we are standing by a family member who at this time is in need. I appreciated it. When I walked by the other beds, there were hardly any visitors at all. My heart went out to them. To be in that state of needing life support is already bad enough. And in that state without anyone by your side must really be depressing.

Now we are just waiting for a miracle to happen. God has been faithful to my mum. I believe He'll be faithful to my friend's dad as well. We need a miracle......

Something My Colleague Said

Was chatting with my colleague in the late afternoon today. Something she said stuck with me and I wanna make sure I got it down. I was telling her about how cool my idol is. He looks good, sings well and can play a variety of instruments. She heard his flute playing and was super impressed. Then I let her listen to his singing as well as his piano playing.

Then I commented on how some people seem to have it all while people like me have to spend so much time and money yet not even come close to them. Then my colleague said that I am unique in my own self or something to that effect. Then she asked if my idol could do something I could do well which he obviously can't. I sort of snickered her comment away but I knew very well what she said was true.

I always claim that every single person has unique and individual gifts from God. Think I need to start believing it rather than just claim it. Guess my self-esteem has tumbled so low since I keep comparing myself to others. Again, I need to constantly remind myself that I AM UNIQUE and should not be comparing myself to others......

Mother's Day Dinner With Mum

  

Had dinner with mama just now. Kind of weird I must say. To my shame, though we live together, we hardly have a meal together. My sis likes to say that my mum and I live in a 6 room bungalow sarcastically. She's right. We seem to be living like that. So, after so long we finally got to sit down together for a meal. It's really a shame cos I seldom look forward to having meals with either of my parents. Yet, most of them usually turn out fine. Okay, I guess I need to change my attitude regarding this.

Well, dinner went pretty okay. We had dinner at Lotus Vegetarian Restaurant in Quality Hotel. For someone who has never been a fan of vegetarian food, I must say the food's pretty decent. The reason why I have never been a fan of vegetarian food was because I do not believe in paying real money for fake food. Okay, I must admit the fake 'char siew' does taste quite good. :) We chatted a fair bit or rather she told me a fair bit about the concerns in her life. Glad that she opened up a fair bit to me. Then again, I think the problem has never been her opening up to me but me to her instead. Okay, got more stuff to work on. Oh crap......

My Day

Now I am dancing (sort of) to the tune of 'Bad Day' by Daniel Powter. Think I will attempt to sing it for the next lesson. Thank God my day was not a bad one. Well, at least for most part of it......

As usual, had a tough time waking up today. BUT, I managed to make it halfway through the Mandarin worship. So not too bad, except for my wallet. Been taking cabs like nobody's business. English service was good in a sense I managed to keep awake most of the time. The message was a continuation from last week so the conviction continued as well. Think I really need to wake up from my stupor......

Vocal lesson was great as usual. Managed to sing 伍家輝's 雖然我願意 and I survived it as well. Alice thought I did pretty well in it. ;) It's amazing how I am learning new stuff about my voice every lesson. Hmmm, really thinking towards being certified. 


Gym was okay. 


Had to get AA to jump start my dad's dead car prior to sending it back. Also became a member. Hmmm, without owning a car. That's weird. Maybe that's a sign I should get one soon. :) Sigh, I realised my attitude has been really bad of late. Been really negative and cynical towards practically everything. Need to really get into the Word man. Okie, gonna go get some rest. It's a new week tomorrow! New start hopefully. Ooops, there I go again...... 

Service Line

After having a short encounter with a customer who had an attitude problem during my work at my part time workplace, I realised the importance of treating people nice. This joker came in just now with his niece who had broken her spectacles. I was the one serving him. For some reason he had this impression that it was like super easy to find a frame exactly the same design and same size as the one his niece had. So he told me to look for one to transfer the lens over. I saw the frame and I realised we do not carry the same brand of frame and so the next thing was to a frame as close in terms of size and design to the broken one and size down the lens to the new frame. I double confirmed that we do not carry the same brand and continued my search for the next best thing. Then he became impatient and told me that I should just find the same one and change the lens over. DUMB ASS! So I had to explain to him that all frames vary in size and design and it is not possible to find an exact replica except under the same brand. Errr, seriously, who's supposed to be the expert here?

After we sourced out a couple of frames for the niece to try came the next problem, he wanted to collect the spectacles before the day is over which is like one hour. Of course, the already irritated me told him straight off that it could not be done. Even my colleague confirmed that it could not be done. Since we do not open on Sundays, the next available day to collect the spectacles would be on Monday, much to my delight. Yes, very petty of me. :) Then my big boss came around and decided to be the nice guy and agreed to help them. Ohhhhhhh crap! My delight quickly turned to dismay. Okay, my next shot at him would be the price of the frame. Usually, we would give our customers a 10% discount of the retail price of the frames as a gesture of goodwill. NOT THIS TIME I told myself. So while my boss was busy doing the lens, I told him to charge the full price. Then I need to see another customer so I did not get to do the billing for the joker. Later I found out that my boss heard me wrongly and quoted a slightly discounted price to the customer! ARRRRRRGHHH!

Yes I know I deserved all that was came to me but man was life unfair. Anyway all these are beside the point. My point is that we better be nice to front line people cos there's a lot of things they can do to help or hurt you. Of course, I am sure that I am one of the very few who could be so petty and go all out to make people pay for their bad attitude. Then again, only God knows how many times people would have helped make your life a little better had you been nicer to them. Maybe, they'll be more willing to close a little later to help you. Maybe they have contacts they are willing to share that can give you an edge. Okay, the conclusion is simple...... BE NICE TO PEOPLE! ;)

Endless Possibilities, Endless Pain......

Where's My Trunks?

I made a trip to 313 Somerset specifically to buy a pair of swimming trunks. It's funny that in the pic you will not find the pair of trunks. Cos I ended up buying those stuff instead of the trunks. Hmmm, talk about defeated purpose. Anyway, the shop's name is Forray and it is located at 04-11 313 Somerset. The clothe's pretty cool.....

Spirit Of Shopaholicism! Come Out!

Much to my delight or dismay, I think I might be possessed. :) By a spirit of shopaholicism(forgive my poor English) that is. I am already broke. Yet I am planning to do more shopping tomorrow. Hmmmm, evil but I like!

Shopping

You know something is really wrong with me when I actually miss my gym session to go do something else. Well, I did that today to go do some shopping. Think I am just weird today. Just did not feel like doing anything at all. So after work I headed to Wisma to get me a pair of shoes. And guess what? Found a bag that looked cool so guess what again? Yap, I bought it. Nice right? :)

Long DAY

Apologies. Not much bright stuff to talk about of late. Guess the only happening thing for me today is lunch with sista. Yap that might be pretty much it. Still feeling a little dazed from the lack of sleep (nothing new). Had a really dreamy night so I did not feel rested at all. Guess all the expectations I put on myself has it's toll as well.

What do I really really need? More sleep? Maybe. Think I need more rested sleep. More money? Yar man, would be nice to get me a car. *Drool* More time? For sure, provided I can be disciplined enough to fully utilise them for good. Otherwise, it might just kill me. More company? Hmmm, I can immediately see in my mind who I would love to spend time with. More affection? Oh yes, am super hungry for that. Am craving for a hug. A squeeze. A pat on the shoulder. A......

Somehow for now, all I can see are my lacks in life. Hmmm, I gotta put my mind on something else man, or else I might just go bersek.

As usual, I do not seem to have a conclusion to this problem, so I'll leave it at that......

Whatever

Mixed stuff today......

1) Service was serious. Pastor was preaching about Jesus' coming back. Old topic. New insights. Wonder if it will drag me out of my stupor. I heard the seriousness of the message but I am not too sure if I caught it. Got a feeling I might just be one of those foolish virgins who ran out of oil when He returns......

2) Singing practice at home was good. Managed to hit the notes for some of the higher songs. Wish I could do it yesterday. The K session would have been more enjoyable......

3) I just found out my idol plays the flute as well. As very impressively as well......
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http://twic.li/lbD&h=85d39

4) I think I am depressed again. Thinking about relationships again......

5) Wish Jesus ain't coming back so soon. Still have some more sinning to do.......

6) Think I am a little high. Just had a drink with my cousin......

7) Internet connection is really slloooooowwwwwww......

8) I resent my dad. Why does he always have stuff for me to do? Why can't he just leave me alone? I hate his car. The battery died again. LOSER A MERC!

9) Think I am really random with this post......

10) Why do the people i like not like me?

11) Why am I so nice?

12) Think I better go and sleep soon......

13) Tomorrow is the first day without my supervisor. Wonder what will happen......

14) I feel like taking up my sax again. Think it will help my singing......

15) Kind of miss my dizi as well.

16) I wanna go into music full time......

17) I want a CAR!

18) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Karaoke Session

Had a pretty enjoyable Karaoke session today. The last time I held the mic was like 3 years ago I think. Today I made some startling discoveries.

1) Celven could sing Jap songs!
2) Celven has a powerful voice!
3) Jasmine has a really sweet and beautiful voice!
4) I should never attempt to sing without proper warm up ever again!

You can tell I am concentrating hard when I am not able to even smile at the cam.

That's Celven (with her food as uaual) and Jasmine.

That's the three Musketeers......

Great Fellowship Last Night

I must admit my main motivation for watching Iron Man 2 last night was so that I could spend more time with Caile. I was kind of ready to run off after the movie. But I ended up having dinner with the rest. No regrets though. Other then the two of us, there were Edwin, David and Luanna. So it was like a mini life group setting.

It was a really nice chat with Luanna. Though we knew each other existed, we never really held a conversation before. I figure that any group of people must have at least one person like Luanna to break the ice so to speak. I enjoy the feeling of being able to talk quite freely about stuff whatever it may be. Luanna gave me this feeling. Though we hardly knew each other prior, it was a good conversation.

Guess I should make it a point to fellowship more with the people in the life group......

By the way, Iron Man 2 was quite good. Missed a part of it though cos some were late. Will write about it another time......