Just finished a lesson with my bro a while ago. Now I am reading some local celebs' blogs which I chanced upon after dinner just now. Actually, I feel that I am quite schizo at times. I often see myself as a quiet reserved guy, just happy to do back stage stuff, no need of recognition, etc. But I do frequently yearn to be in the limelight of sorts. A celeb or something. Appearing on media, being the centre of attention. Performing on stage, wowing people, etc.
Hmmm, actually I am a little embarrased to admit this, but after existing for close to 31 years on this place known as Earth, I am still trying to find out who or what I am. I envy people who are obviously living in what they are meant to do. I always use Jay Chou as as example. He is so super talented in music and he is using it to his best advantage. He enjoys what he does and makes tons out of it. Hmmm, what am I called to do? I used to be very sure it is to teach and preach the bible, but I really am not too sure now. I feel lost sometimes. Is it music? Hmmm, I still have this subconscious fear that if I ask God, I might just freak out cos it might just be something which I do not want to do.
Crap. Wish I was just unconsciously doing what I ought to do. Arrrghhhh. Gotta start seeking God man. :(
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