Insecure

I am feeling kind of insecure now. Actually I feeling a whole host of negative feelings now. From loneliness to insecurity to inferiority complex to low self-esteem. Was reading someone else's blog and wondering why God made me this way. Why am I not as handsome or good-looking as someone else. It's nice to have physical beauty rather than just inner beauty. It's nice to cause heads to turn once in a while as well. It's nice to have people naturally like me because I look good than for people to find out I am a nice person then start to like me. It's nice to be charismatic as well. Why not me?
I know that most people will tell me that I look okay. But I wanna look good! And all that I can do now is to make do with where I am and just trust that God did not make a mistake (though sometimes I really doubt it!) when He created me. So now I can only make the best of what I have got. Early next year I will probably go for my laser treatment and possibly add a dimple to my face (still considering).
As much as I know that all these stem from a deeper problem inside, I am still gonna get my face done. If I had the money and was younger I probably would have gone to more desperate measures to make myself look good. Anyway, I don't know why I am blabbering such sensitive stuff on my blog. Ah hack!