Thinking

As usual, I got into my thinking mode today. Sometimes I dread it cos it tends to make me feel worse than better. But what's a brain made for right? So here goes,......

Am thinking about my life of late. I am 32 this year and I feel like I really have not accomplished much thus far. I had about a decade to build my career and I feel I have not achieved much in it. Be it monetary or in terms of satisfaction. Okay, maybe I exagerrated a little when it comes to the satisfaction part. I do enjoy serving my clients, especially when I realise that they do appreciate my efforts as well as my knowledge in my field of expertise. Monetary wise I am not too contented though. Yar, I think 'contented' is the apt word to use. Though my pay is not as high as my contemperaries, I am pretty comfortable if I am not in my shopaholic mode. Actually I find it difficult to draw the line since the bible clearly states that with a roof and clothing we are to be content. And the fact is that I have not been managing my finances the way which glorifies God. So even if I earn more. it simply means spending more, and on things which do not make for life.

Actually looking back I have had ample oppurtunities to be decently rich by now. But I had been too lazy and ill disciplined to manage the finances well. Now I find it hard to start all over be it in my finances or other aspects of my life. I think I need more than just a pep talk to kick back into gear. Oh God. God? Err anybody up there? I have been procrastinating for the longest time. So many things I wanna do but I have not started on any. Think I am pretty much just rotting away till Jesus returns. I got a feeling I'll be the most miserable person when Jesus comes back. Knowing so much, yet having done so little. It might have been better to have lived for the world first till nearer Jesus' return get saved than to live all this while feeling a sense of guit and condemnation and yet still not live for God. Dilemmas! So glad its church tomorrow. Wonder what God will say tomorrow to me. I really need to be shaken up......