Just found out last night that J is attached. In one sense I am happy for J. On the other hand, I realised that my world just fell apart again. Now I have one less thing to live for in life. I do not know how much more I can take. Somehow I have this weird feeling that God somehow led me up to this to finally find out about J being attached. Anyway I am more than aware that as much as I like J, I will not be able to give J all that J needs in a relationship. Wretched bastard that I am. I can't get into the relationship I so yearn for. Anyway J you have my best wishes. Wished I could be the one to love and care for you but I guess I blew it up big time.
The other J......
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