Bad Sunday

Actually things were not so bad at the end but the beginning of the day was horrendous. It started as usual for me since I was playing keyboard for both the Mandarin and English service. Was there early. Brought my guitar along since we were going to have guitar training by my worship coach. Or so I thought. The worship prior to the message went pretty well, at least in my own estimation. That was until my coach spoke to me after that when we were together in service. He actually apologised for almost shouting at me. I was a little taken aback. I probed a little and he proceeded to tell me that I made a lot of mistakes during my playing prior. He then mentioned that he had to put in more effort to train me. He said more stuff than that but that was the essence of what I heard.

At first, I took it quite well. I knew I had lots of room for improvement. That was the reason why I so wanted to learn from him. But as I started to play for the remainder of the Mandarin service, I started to get depressed. And that started to affect my playing. By the time I was playing for the English service, I was gone man. Thoughts raged in me that I should just quit and do music on my own and all that. As a result, I started to make more mistakes and became way more conscious of my playing. There were certain parts of the worship that I just did not want to play anymore. So I just sat there. My sis was in the congregation and she noticed that I sighed 3 times and in a very obvious way. Yap, that's what I do when I am depressed. She marvelled that I could even drink my water in the midst of worship! At that point of time, I really could not be bothered what the congregation saw me doing. I just wanted to stop and just stone away. I knew that my keyboard could well be heard by my coach who was playing the drums and I really had no heart to play on anymore. So there were awkward pauses in the midst of worship because I refused to play and the other 2 guitarist also did not play. Messed up big time man!

That was still not the highlight of the day. We were supposed to have our guitar coaching after the service. However, 3 of the guitarists did not turn up and did not inform the coach prior. So out of the 5, effectively only 2 turned up. A new comer was there as well. So coach was fuming mad. He kept asking me why the others did not turn up. At first I just replied that I did not know. After being asked more than once, I finally suggested that he asked them himself in a sarcastic way. After all, if I had been asked more than once, I do not expect my answer to change in a couple of seconds. He took my advice and spoke to one of them over the phone. Boy was he mad! Poor guy. After shooting him, the coach was asking why another person did not turn up. He finally gave up. He was too pissed. He then got the three of us to sit together. He sat there and faced us for a while. He finally told us that we were dismissed and he left the studio and slammed the door behind him. By that time, it finally dawned on me that he REALLY WAS MAD!

My 2 other friends then left for their lunch and I proceeded to look for him. Actually, I wanted to tell him off cos I took the trouble to bring the guitar to church and would have to bring it back without having used it at all. But when I found him, he was having a 'discussion' with someone else and I just waited till he was done. When I finally spoke to him, I asked if he was okay. H replied that he was not. So being the nice guy I was, I just patted him on the shoulder and grabbed my guitar and left. I was a little shocked at my self. Thought that I wanted to tell him off. Anyway, if God was not omniscient I am sure He would have been shocked as well. LOL. So I just proceeded home. Did not have the mood to join anyone for lunch.

Tried to catch some sleep before I headed for a movie with Ivan. But I could not fall asleep. I gave up and decided to go chill at Centrepoint where Ivan was. After some time, my coach smsed to apologise for flaring up. Then I also apologised for my poor attitude today. So all ended well. Tomorrow he will be giving me a one on one lesson. Whoopy!

The time with Ivan went well (Thanks Ivan :)). Enjoyed myself. Watched 'Dance Flick' with him. Brainless humor. My favorite. Thank God at least the later part of the day was ok. :)