Thursday, June 9, 2011

Hate This Feeling

Despite the fact I should be feeling excited that I will be heading off to my next holiday, which is practically a fully paid for one, I really feel lousy today. These few weeks have been intense ones, with things going on with work and my personal life.

Work wise, there have been issues popping up and I have seen colleagues become so disturbed by the events that it in turn disturbs me. I have never seen my supervisor cum good friend cry so often in the longest time. Pains me just to see her crack under the pressure coming from without. Worse thing is that most of it has nothing to do with her nor her abilities as a supervisor. People have been unreasonable and she has been the target of it. Sigh......

As for my personal life, the summary of it is...... Life sucks. It's that time of the year again. Father's day. As well as my dad's birthday in July. As you may have realized, I am not exactly a fan of my own father. I made it a point to call dad this morning to wish him an advance happy father's day since I would be away during father's day as well. To my gladness as well as dismay, he was not contactable. In a sense I was glad I did not have to talk to him today. Then again, it could have been over and done with in a jiffy. And so the underlying tone in my mood is that of anguish. Why can't a father and son just sit down and communicate without such feelings? This tone has been really disturbing for the past few days, since I had planned to call since last week. I really hate this. Great, now I am feeling a headache of sorts due to the tension inside. The sad part is that I know I will probably live to regret all these should my dad not be around one day. This year he will be 76 years of age. Yet I still find it a struggle to try to mend the relationship. I really wish to be left alone. Damn it!

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