Decisions decisions

Have been thinking of going back to music lessons aggressively after my reno. Thinking of taking up violin as well. Ambitious right? Very. I figure that if I cannot put my time to good use anyway I may as well do something constructive with it. Certainly beats giving my mind too much time to get emo and finally go down the wrong path again. Too much heartache. Not worth it at all. Hmmm, okay something to carefully consider......

Phil 4:19

Says: And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

 That's my verse for meditation today. I really feel I have a strong need emotionally for a soul mate for a while already. And that is what God will supply. Amen!

Frustrated!

I had to spend some time praying in tongues before I could calm my mind down just now. Sometimes I wonder whether is it my expectations that are too high, or common sense is no longer common nowadays. Was having issues with my contractor in regards to my room reno these few days. I find it hard to believe that I pay hard earned money to people who solve my problems and yet they don't do so, or do so in such a bad way.

I wanted a sliding panel in my toilet and my contractor, after going back and forth with me could only offer me a white set. I refused to accept that because I myself have personally seen a silver one before. I decided to check out with some suppliers on my own and the very first one I phoned could offer me a variety of colors to choose from. That got me really pissed. Do I have to pay for something and yet source for it on my own? Hmmm, I thought the contractors are supposed to have more contacts than I do? So tomorrow I'll have to go down personally to Katong to see what they can offer me. WTF! So does the contractor pay me instead since I am doing his job for him?

Sometimes I wonder to myself if I am too demanding or unreasonable. My conclusion is simple. I deserve what I pay for and their service is simply crap to say the least. I find it detestable for people to want to offer a service, charge for it and not deliver. Please, go bust for goodness sake. Businesses like yours does not deserve to be doing well at all. :(

Lesson Today

Had a stretching but enjoyable vocal lesson today. It was fun and Alice has always been very encouraging. Towards the end of the lesson we were chatting about her student prior to me. She was from City Harvest and she had a really beautiful voice. Then I commented that life is unfair implying that some people seem to just have great voices while people like me have to work so hard to attain some success in it.

What she replied to my comment was kind of interesting. She said something to the effect that your life is in your own hands. That spoke volumes to me. Loads of thoughts went past my mind in that moment. In one sense I agreed with her but yet in another I begged to defer.

In the context of what we were talking about, it is a fact that some people just have a good voice to start with. Yes they may need a little polishing and smoothening but the foundation is pretty much there. While there are others, who may have had years of training and yet not really get even close to the former. See my point?

Then we came to another point, which was accepting oneself. That's another biggie to me. Accepting myself just as I am, and not being judgmental with myself. Hmmm, seems like I learn much more than singing whenever I go for my vocal class. Thanks Alice......

Expectations

Was thinking back to the recent KL trip I made with my church friend. He is 12 years younger than me. Yet we had so much fun together. Was trying to figure out why. One of the reasons I think is probably due to expectations. I guess I went, not expecting much from him. We could talk about almost anything under the sun. Sorry, I know I sound random. Just can't seem to pen down what's going through my mind. :(