Goals Goals Goals

I was reading a friend's facebook recently and he was asking for advice on which program to look into to help him achieve his goals. Then I realised that it has been a long time since I had any worthy goal in life. Since I came out of my thing with J, it's as if all my dreams and goals (if I had any) died with the relationship. Since then I have been cruising along with life, just trying to lie low. As much as I realise the danger of it, I seem to have sunk in too deep into the comfort it offers. When my supervisors ask about my plans, I simply answer them I have no plans and I am just walking through a day at a time.

That's for work. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be any different for other aspects of my life. I am sucked into a rut where I just respond to what comes and I do not have any vision of the future. I think there's a couple of reasons for that.....

One reason I think is because of the teaching I received last one of my previous churches. The pastor was almost implying (at least I felt so) that as long as you are walking with God, goals are not important. I think another reason is that subconsciously I feel that non "spiritual" goals are not worth pursuing at all. Yeah, think it's something like that. Ouch. Think this is too much thinking at 3 in the morning! Think I will continue another time......

Here I Am At 2 A.M. In The Morning

I suppose it has come to that time again when I find myself pretty much awake at the wee hours. The funny thing is that I do not seem to have much on my mind off late. However, I did have a rough time at work yesterday which may explain why I did not really sink in to deep sleep.

I guess it's easy to tell my colleagues not to be affected by "bad" patients since I am not in their shoes. However I found myself profoundly challenged yesterday with a patient's dad who was really an "ass" (pardon my language). Dealing with him really raised my blood pressure. I think he did not realise one thing is that when you are not nice to people, they will be less likely to go the extra mile for you when necessary.

His daughter needs a pair of glasses which, to my knowledge cannot be done locally because the power is simply out of range. I have come to the conclusion that I will only try to source for solutions within the companies I know and that will be it. I will not "go the extra mile" to see if any other solutions can be offered. I can almost feel the delight of calling him to inform him that he is on his own and there is nothing he can do about it.

Yes I do realise that I am kind of petty in this situation, but what the hack! Actually I kind of dread the feeling of not being able to provide solutions to other peoples' problems but this might just be a first and I think I might just come to love that feeling. Of course, I do understand that there is an innocent party involved this time, but do I care? Hmmmmm, nope! At least not at this point of time. Okie, I shall not dwell any longer on this subject, least my blood pressure goes up again. On to the next,......

YOU SHOULD BLEED FOR YOUR COUNTRY, NOT FOR THE MOZZIES!

Saw this line on a poster in my camp some days ago. Wanted to take a photo of it but unfortunately cameras not allowed in camp. Reading that line, I could not help but laugh. Frankly, I'll pass on both. ;)

End Of My Reservist

Sigh. It's back to work again. It's like waking from a dream, a good one for that matter. This reservist has been a good one. I have been able to spend a lot more time with myself and think things through. Wish I had a little more time though. Maybe 3 weeks would have been just nice. Then again, I might just totally quite my job since I might not be able to adjust back to working life...... ;)

I Am Valuable Because God Loves Me

Just felt that in my heart this morning......