Good News And Bad News

Now whenever I hear the alert for incoming sms, I get kind of edgy. Yesterday, a friend of mine smsed me telling me of his dad being in critical condition and that the doctors said that he would not make it through last night. I prayed with him and told him to inform me of any happenings. So far I have not heard anything from him. Hoping everythings fine.

Got a sms from my best friend a while ago to inform me that he will be going for a test tomorrow. Was glad to hear that cos that means he's been given another chance. Praying that he'll do well this time round. So its bad news and good news......

Stupid People

Wonder why sometimes people really do not think. Is it that hard to use the grey matter that God has given to us? No, I am not referring to some literal idiot who does not have any capacity to think at all. I am referring to a friend who is really smart, maybe too smart. Yesterday, he decided to put a picture of his sister on facebook which he took while she was asleep. Her mouth was open and her hair was messed up. It was really an unglam pic to say the least.

I was one of the first few to see the pic and I pleaded with him to take it off. Of course he refused. As more people saw the pic (including the sister's boyfriend), the comments started to get more and more hostile. Now, the sister's upset and her boyfriend's upset. Maybe I really am old but does it take that much common sense to figure the repercussions of putting up such a pic, embarrasing your own sister in front of the crowd in facebook?

After my initial plead to remove the photo, I realised it was dumb of me to even suggest that in the first place. Its like why do I even bother. Anyway, now we got a couple of people upset (myself included) because of one damn picture. So, I guess this Sunday's gonna be a tense one...... The things people do to inflict themselves......

Puppets

Definition:

1. movable doll: a doll or figure representing a person or animal that is moved using the hands inside the figure or by moving rods, strings, or wires attached to it

2. somebody who can be manipulated: a person, government, or organization whose actions are controlled by others

3. a thing which has no life and mind of its own, at the absolute control of someone else

The third definition was added by myself. Think I can come out with my own dictionary. Think in many areas of my life I am a puppet of sorts. I don't seem to have a say in my life. I do things more for others than myself. Almost all the big decisions in life are made having someone else in mind. I see the logic in that sometimes considering the fact that I am not the only person on the face of the Earth. But maybe I am overdoing it. Maybe I should think for and of myself more during my decision making process. All these sound good in theory but after this post life resumes again...... Okay, back to puppet life again......

Not In The Mood For Anything

Describes me now, yesterday , the day before, the week before, the month before,...... My mum is siting outside waiting to see the doc for her eyes and though I am free (as you can tell from this post), I do not feel like joining her. Guess I am a bane to my parents. Just wanna disappear and not have to care bout anything. Feel like I am just doing things for the sake of doing it and saying things for the sake of saying it. Just found out yesterday a good friend's engaged and I smsed him to congratulate him and tell him I am happy for him. But was I really happy for him? Hmmmm, nope! Don't get me wrong. I do wish him well but my emotions were far from happy when I dropped him the sms. Its like a matter of formality kind of thing rather than the fact that I am really glad for him.
In any case, nothing from myself surprises me very much anymore. Guess I am just really cold inside. Feel like I am mind dead in a sense. Don't even wanna think about things anymore. What's the point when the solution is clear yet I do not want to do it? Might as well just take whatever comes and just make the best of it. Sometimes I think I know too much. That's why I put myself in such turmoil inside. From now on, I will just do whatever I want to. No point going through the guilt though I know I will not obey in the end. I will save myself from the excessive pain inside......

I Live Up To My Name

The name 'Jonah' brings with it impressions of rebellion as well as stubbornness. I think I live up to it. Should have chosen other names like Joseph, Daniel or David as my first name. Was really frustrated with God as I drove home from the club. As usual I went through my arguement about how unfair God was and how cruel He was to me and such. Sure felt like the Jonah I knew in the old testament. I will not go into details the language I used in the midst of the complaint as it might stumble many.

Spilling over from yesterday I really feel drained to say the least. I know that no amount of physical rest matters cos when the heart is not rested, it shows on the body. So I am still straddling on the fence, so to say. I am pretty much caught between a rock and a hard place. So we'll see which one gives way first, my body or my psyche......